With a price ranging from $50,000 to $200,000 these marvels will most likely become pets for the overly wealthy. This reporter, luckily got the chance to take home one of these miniature treasures who’s name was pinky, and he has gained a new place in my household. It took only a glance for my kids to fall in love with him and I wish I could keep him but at this reporters current pay there is no way I can afford little pinky. Pinky stands a little less than two feet tall and is a kind and loving creature. I hope to see more of these little guys hit the market in the hopes that one day the price for them might drop. I was unable to take any pictures of this marvel of marvels but I did happen to receive a picture of what must be a wonderful pet by an anonymous emailer.

To whoever you are sir, thank you for your submission. This article wouldn’t be half of what it is if it wasn’t for the picture you submitted.

-Bill Pedrey

The city of Chicago has deemed this project ‘Lesoya’. Once Lesoya has been completed sex offenders shall be moved from their neighboring counties and cities to their newly built homes, appartments, and jobs. This will solve several problems in the community on several fronts including a more comfortable environment for offenders and, more importantly, a much safer environment for our children due to lack of sex offenders living in our neighborhoods.

If the sex offenders located within Lesoya continue to commit offenses then the city’s plan is to confine the sex offenders in Lesoya and surrounding areas. There shall be enough businesses in Lesoya for there to be a steady supply of both work and food keeping the need for the offenders leaving to a minimum. The city has not yet explained their plans on how they are going to confine these people in Lesoya but from the information I was able to gather it was going to be at whatever cost was necessary in order to keep our children safe.

If this confining sexual offenders to Lesoya works there has been talks about the possibility of having other cities send their offenders to Chicago to come live in Lesoya as well, making Chicago’s Cook county grow in size with sexual predators but allow for the cities of America to become free of fear from rape for themselves and their children. The plan is to make Lesoya far enough away from other neighborhoods and communities that there will be little chance that a sexual offender and a child will end up near eachother by coincidence.

Chicago isn’t heartless in this matter and they are not going to take every sex offender that has ever lived to Lesoya, but they will be taking every sex offender who has committed a crime since January 1st, 1980. Chicago is understanding that with enough time everyone can change their ways and so they will be leaving the sex offenders from December 31, 1979 and prior so long as they have an outstanding record. It is understood that there are a great deal of sexual predators out there and that Lesoya could easily one day be filled up. The city of Chicago is ready if that happens to purchase the surrounding areas for expansion.

Lesoya is still in development and should become a reality sometime between winter of 2007 and fall of 2008. I know that personally, I am looking forward to no longer fearing the walk to my car ever again.

-Cynthia Waeyer

The company requested that their name be undisclosed for legal reasons. Their postings should be arriving on the 1st of January. The company is also offering a mod chip with every purchase and several free games as part of the bundle. The reserved price is $149.99 but bidding wars are suspected to bring the prices up to the range of $1000 to $1500 in a very short amount of time. There are only 100 of these newly released PlayStation 3s and they are suspected to sold out by the end of the day if that. This reporter is planning on being there as soon as it strikes midnight the morning of January 1st to be one of the first people to buy one of these PS3s.

-Sam Markens

PlayStation is a product of Sony Computer Entertainment Inc.

It took a lot of convincing but I was able to get Jean-Pierre to release one of his fabled recipes to me. Here it is,
Tasty Garlic Mushroom Triops

“Ingredients: For each person. 4 nice big white mushrooms 4 Triops 1/4 cup butter 2 smashed garlic cloves 2 Tbsps fresh parsley

Directions:
Clean the mushrooms and remove the ends. Prepare the garlic butter the usual manner, preferably 3 hours ahead of time. Fill the mushrooms with the Triops, add as much garlic butter as you can press on top.

Heat the oven to 350F and cook the mushrooms for about 15 to 20 minutes or until bubbly.

I never use the Asian Triops because the are very chewy. The French ones are more expensive but well worth it. You will find that this is too much butter, but you can make 12 Triops with that recipe.” - Jean-Pierre

Now, this is his most basic of recipes for the Triop. Since it’s inception he has made a fortune on this inappropriately overlooked tasty creature.

There have been several members of the IRA, Insect Right Activists, who believe that it is inhumane treatment for us to take note of this creature that has survived over two hundred million years of our worlds torment only to become a meal for a rich American. Triops can be purchased online for rather cheap. For your purchase you will get Triop eggs and a small aquarium to which to grow these delights. From my understanding though you just can’t beat fresh Triops.

The only way that these delicious creatures could be any better is if they hatched and grew up in a light garlic butter sauce.
Bon Appetit

-Christopher Karmain

These heads, when passed into the digestive track of a person, latch on somewhere in the intestines and start to feed. The entire time a person is injesting food, a portion of that food is being eaten by the Tapeworm allowing the person to eat as much food as they like without having an overabundance of consequences. In a normal environment these Tapeworms could reach up to 20 meters in size and start to cause it’s “host” to lose vital nutrients needed by the body. In this case, the geneticists have created a much shorter lifespan Tapeworm, one that will only live for about a week and then die, disconnecting it’s head from the intestinal track and allowing it to be passed freely from the body without any recourse.

Since the pill is ingested once a week and the worm’s lifespan is a week, it is advised on the bottle to wait for your first Tapeworm to leave your digestive track before ingesting the second. These pills are sold in groups of 10 and it is stated that it is not wise to ever go past ten pills or the weekly advised dosage. It could be potentially dangerous for your health if taken improperly, just like every other pill out there.

This diet loss program is guaranteed to help you lose between 10 to 20 pounds a week with no work involved at all. There is no ill taste, and you can not feel them in your body. In fact you can’t tell they are even there. They are supposedly coming to GNC’s nationwide towards the end of winter of this year.

-Sam

Online Casinos are very frequent and this bug is not happening on one of the little ones that exist out there. As previously stated, I am not at liberty to say which one, but I would suggest giving them a few a try. Online Casinos give the ability for you to have the gambling experience you would have at a real casino from the comfort of your own home. There is no guarantee that this bug wont be fixed soon so I suggest taking a look now. Programming errors happen everywhere; when someone updates or creates new programs there will constantly be loopholes and exploits located within the site. I don’t suggest that anyone take advantage of such exploits for it would be morally wrong, but there is no damage in looking at it. Learning what an exploit can look like and how these bugs can effect real companies.

-Sam

While there are plenty of good lawyers for DUI cases all over the east coast, having a ‘never fail’ record is by far more convincing. This man owns his own practice with several other very respectable lawyers of other fields. They always have reasonable rates and for being such a wonderful lawyerhe prices his court time well below most of his competitors.

When asked why it is that he does not charge more money he returned with a simple, “If I needed help, I wouldn’t want someone to charge me an exorbitant amount of money. So I don’t charge too much. It’s just the way I was raised, I guess.”

His services can be reached online with gentle ease. I would suggest looking him up.

-Cynthia Waeyer

Mexican water, contains a bacteria strain of Escherichia coli that the natives of Mexico are naturally immune to. People from other countries, however, are not immune in any way. This strain of Escherichia coli is also commonly referred to as Montezuma’s Revenge. This bacteria is known to cause extreme cases of diarrhea and other stomach issues.

As the numbers of these bottled waters were purchased by other water companies and resold across the world, the cases of stomach virii increased as well as the constantly growing number of victims. When this was found out by the FDA the company was immediately shut down and all products by them have been under review. It seems as though this malpractice might have actually dated back to the end of fall of this year, which according to AcquaSourceOne’s logbooks increments the number of bottles sold to over 500,000 units. Of the 500,000 units, well over 220,000 units are missing and are thought to have spread through parts of Europe and North America.

If you purchase bottled water on a regular basis, it is advised that you boil it for at least five minutes before drinking it. Boiling the water is one of the only ways to destroy the bacteria without the use of chemicals. It has not been disclosed which water companies have received the bottled water from AcquaSourceOne but it has been described as a few of the major ones out there.

To reiterate, please take caution and boil any bottled water purchased for it means your safety and could possibly save your life. Also, if you find yourself with a bad case of Montezuma’s Revenge, go to a doctor immediately. Do not try home remedies.

I hope that this helps some of you out there, I would hate to see anything bad happen to you by drinking bottled water.

-Christopher Karmain

This wonderful publication, The Economist, is a internet news site which sells more than 500 thousand copies in North America alone has actually become the unknowing recipient of another online web exploit. When you sign up for their publication for the free four weeks and then cancel your subscription they will continue to send it to you. This makes for a great deal of free international news about all sorts of great subjects. If you are interested in this news go check out economist.com.

This, like every other bug, should never be exploited for moral reason. Though it never hurts to take a look.

-Sam

These Casino Cruise ships are available for both daily, weekend, four day, and weekly cruises. Looks like January and February are going to be big for Casino cruise gambling for everyone. This news was not supposed to get out for if people knew that the game was rigged in their benefit then it will destroy the mysticism of being lucky. Our publisher happens to have a friend who works in the higher ups located within one of these companies and has given us the whole scoop.

“These games have been rigged for the benefit of the gambler. Slot Machines, Electronic Poker, and even some card games have mechanics all working in the favor of the gambler.” She continued to say, “They are doing this in order to attempt to get people to look away from internet gambling and back at offshore gambling. The offshore casinos are losing money since internet casinos have become popular. This is their way of getting back at them and making their cruises popular again.”

There you have it folks, January and February are the times to win big down in Florida. Hop on the bandwagon.

-Bill Pedrey
It’s my turn to play big now!