Lover’s lane is a small road located in Clark county, Kansas. A place where teenagers and college students typically go to “Park” with their loved ones to spend some quality time together. On the fifth of November, 2005 this ‘Lover’s lane’ was home to a different type of situation. A spotting. Over a dozen teenagers and college students claimed to see a pair of bright lights descending from the clouds. The bright light gave off a UFO style glow and an eerie feeling had filled the crowd. Some of the students ran, some to speak of the events they witnessed, others to go home and never speak of it again for fears of being locked up. Though everyone had thought that this was an Alien UFO experience that they were about to encounter they were far from correct. The truth is even more far fetched. The truth of the matter is that they saw an entity, what is described to be having large embracing noodly appendages reaching forth to include them into his soft squishy arms.
What these coeds witnessed was far from an alien encounter. They were in a much softer, gentler grasp. The two glowing orbs they saw were none other than giant meatballs; The trademark of the ever-embracing Flying Spaghetti Monster. A creature that, until recently, was only fabled to exist. The Flying Spaghetti Monster has, until now, been a popular belief of many people of all ages. Now, with this ever so visible sighting, this belief has become a reality. The Flying Spaghetti Monster has remained invisible for almost all of eternity, it is unknown why he would decide to show himself now.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster has been known to be the cause of the downfall of pirates in the 1800’s giving the Earth it’s ever-needed warmth in temperature. The belief of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism has been around since it’s inception by the profit Bobby Henderson; A well known follower of the FSM and creator of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster – http://www.venganza.org/. There have been many Pastafarians who claim to have been touched by ‘his noodly appendage’ but ever since the group-wide sighting this religion has gone from scepticism to a very possible reality. It is now known that the Flying Spaghetti Monster truly does exist.
Did he actually create the universe and everything in it? Did he actually create the universe’s first midget? Why has he made himself visible now? Has he really been killing off pirates so that the earth would get warmer or does he have an even bigger, more noodly motive? When will the great FSM show himself to me? Where did the great Flying Spaghetti Monster come from? When will he be back? Is he here right now?
These are all valid questions you might be asking yourself, but do not worry, his great noodly appendage will embrace us all eventually and when he does we will all know what true sight is.
-Brandon Andrews, PhD