Conceptual Reality At Its Finest

Love bugs discovered to have hallucinogenic properties.

The Love Bug, scientific name Plecia nearctica.
While the Love Bug is more commonly known for the havoc it wreaks on speeding motorist, recently scientists have discovered that these pesky little insects may be the new gateway drug. The discovery was made by Dr. Wendy Thorton, head of research for the Oxford Medical Sciences division. At a press release last week, Dr. Thorton stated that, “The hallucinations are caused by a toxin found in the reproductive organs of the female insect.”

Allegedly the discovery was made while the research team was trying to find a natural cure for Erectile Dysfunction. “We were studying under the hypothesis that the pheromone causing the extensive mating ritual of the insect could be isolated and delivered to the test subject… While there were no effects to the subject sexually, almost all test subjects reported mild auditory and visual hallucinations.” Unfortunately Dr. Thorton was not able to be directly contacted and is not returning Liewares messages.
While a new discovery to the science community, these results are no surprise to Herald Jackubin. Herald, a survivor of the 60’s and published writer, claims to have known this little secret for 4 decades. “We use to grind them up in hot water and drink it like a tea. It was something that everyone I knew was doing. Frankly I was more surprised that it wasn’t a well known fact than I was about the “discovery”.” Herald claims that it takes a lot of Love Bugs to make any real difference. “It sure is a pain, but when you are able to collect enough of the little guys [Love Bugs] the high is well worth the effort.” Several times during the interview Herald referred to the process of being high through Love Bug as “Bugging” or drinking the “Love Juice.”
While the toxin is not detectable by urine test one of the key signatures to Love Bug ingestion is swelling of the tongue due to the acidic nature of the insect. While the FDA has made no official comments about the discovery, sources say that there is talk about a new urine test being created and in extreme measures, the total annihilation of the species.

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